Friday, October 11, 2013

The International Criminal Court and Africa's future, Not I Lord, Surely? It wasn't me!

Election time: The world should not butt in our business! We are so active in defending human rights. We have our own court!

When it comes to being African it seems the people who suffered post- election violence in Kenya and died or got maimed for life like the woman above - our prayer I call her- are not Africans. The International Criminal Court is trying to offend the dead Africans, to punish them. That is why it is putting on trial good people who were elected because of their great magnanimity. It included flying around and telling people that they are humble and if they won they would present themselves for hearings as bidden. It sounded like going to a party. These are now the poor, poor Africans who are being oppressed during this process.

The African Union under the chairmanship of Hailemariam Desalegn and with Dlamini-Zuma as the Chair of the Union's Commission does not need the International Court in Africa because it is offensive and unfair to the continent. So today there was a vote to pull out of the International Criminal Court. Only the best governed country in Africa Botswana did not vote in favour of this with 53% in favour of a resolution to pull out of the court.


One keeps on hearing that racism or the discrimination of Africa is what has led to politicians from Africa being prosecuted by the International Criminal Court. Forget tribalism or ethnic tensions. Racism is bigger isn't it? And that is what Africa is getting from Europe in the ICC. 

None other than a Human Rights Lawyer Barney Afako from Oxford University has just being saying so on BBC's Focus on Africa Program this evening. You see there are no other lawyers who understand the genesis of this issue so Focus On Africa used its best lenses, focused and got the best of the best! Oxford!

So he put it nicely. It was so tidy. Kenya as a country has been going through a very hard time because of ethnic tensions now the country needs time to develop itself politically. Develop its politics. I understand.  This Court hunts for Africans and keeps them down. Burns them maybe? Maims them? Displaces them? Kills them?

Imagine how mean this world is. It forms an International Court and then makes it a place to go and humiliate African presidents. This is such a shame and so terrible because it reminds us of how the West has always put Africans down. Down! The world is indeed not just mean, that is a light word. It is the ridden with deep seated injustice in the name of agendas of the rich versus the poor. 

On my imagination it is easier to look at the past and see strangers come to plunder our land and to sell our people, beat and kill them when they fought for freedom than to see out own people raising machetes up against each other so that some people might rule. To see ourselves killing ourselves. This is not fathomable. But who told you that kind of thing happens? Africans killing one another?

And Africa you see, is so poor. So everyone sits on her. Europe loves to crush her. America too sat on her for long with all that huge belly and enjoyed it. You see this is how and why Africa is so underdeveloped forever and ever. It was only under- developed once and for all by others because the Bible says so in the story of Egypt. 

The best way to proclaim Africa's freedom and independence, the perfect way to get everyone looking up and saying that this is a continent to be respected is to start by asking every African to donate all the blood they have and then sit and wait for the next voting round. Ask the children to sleep their hunger away. Many people can be treated for emergencies that might arise. Did I say sit and wait? I meant die waiting.

Sleep your hunger away, justice will be served in some years on an African plate!
Betraying our roots

The most interesting way to show that we have wonderful traditions that respected debate, freedom of expression and some bad ones that were used here and there is to keep only the bad ones alive. To forget that in arbitration we went for strangers to be the independent third party, respected strangers and just ones because nowadays we can tell ourselves what to do.

Oh yes! Those people who love Africa from afar are asking questions weighty, enormous questions: Why is Africa the only one that is being brought before the International Criminal Court? 

Tribalism is forgotten in Afrika. We are fair. Even the BBC knows that. We are so just. We should from now onwards in this great continent of famous and most wonderful African presidents only remember one thing: The world is racist and it hates Africa to be independent. Africa must be free!

Desmond Tutu, Botswana and Tunisia and others are saying yes we know there is racism but this Kenyan case and the ICC is not about race and how dare we use ethnic and race when it suits us for gain? We have a step by step way of showing you what really happened and why we are at the ICC but others are shouting back. No! Keep quiet you Western lover! Keep quiet! We are there because of the colour of our skins do you not know... No we are there because they do not like Africa and we love it!

Love at first sight

When it was time to vote, Tunisia abandoned. Our sister in Malawi who horned her leadership skills in Kenya is silent of late. There was a time she denied an AU meeting space in Malawi because Al Bashir of Sudan, who has a warrant of arrest by the ICC was planning to come. Now we are all in love.

In the end Everyone should look at the African Court of Human and People's Rights and just admire it. Love it!  It has been suing many powerful people who abuse human rights in Kenya, in Rwanda, Burundi, Tanzania and Uganda. It has been especially successful in Ethiopia where in 2005 over 75 000 people were in jail... Oh no, they were not in jail, they had opted to live on small dry islands surrounded by crocodiles that longed to swallow human flesh because these people were tired of living in Addis. They included then the founder of the Ethiopian Human Rights Network Professor Mesfin.

In fact those Ethiopians had so chosen to live like that they did not care about mobile phones and radios. Those left the city had decided to be quiet and not talk about something called Human Rights. They loved very slow Internet and speaking in whispers because they were so free. 

Now they have a new president Desalegn and he is the seat of the African Union. The whole sea of countries was at home at his for lunch today for an Extraordinary session on Africa to show that we have our own court and our own justice in Afrika. Everything is rosy. There is a bash. And... they have voted.  Only one country has opposed the move to withdraw from the ICC. Botswana. Thank goodness we can still hold on to Ubuntu. And so Viva Botswana... Abantu Abatwana! Human people even before rights. Now we have to love the African Court, the oppressive Western one is out.

And this Human Rights and Peoples Court was very old by the time people were in jail in Ethiopia. It had been formed just a year before in 2004. Heeeh it had big teeth and could bite the AU -it was no barking dog that does not bite -our favourite essay in school: "The (Oh!) AU is a barking dog that never bites." It has some big teeth some said - bigger than those of a crocodile- it knew territorial integrity and the principle of non- interference. 

Nowadays this African Court is already older and better experienced than the  International Criminal Court which was founded in 2002 with the signing of the Rome Statute. That thing was signed by 34 African leaders who were blindfolded to believe in the witchcraft of this Statute by their African legal advisors. Attorney Generals. The smiling Kenyan one for example, Amos Wako. And African nations led the pack in signing but doubted they should be prosecuted in the majority after their own countries made referrals to the ICC. Nobody is taken there by aliens. 

The ICC was meant to support existing courts but it found it could not support a crocodile such as the African Human and People's Rights court because it was bigger than Big Five add or minus the 54 Presidents.  I tell you suddenly things got elephant.. bigger than tusks... and you know nobody can help an elephant to carry its tusks. No one should be called to help even when ivory is stolen. No international trade bans should be issued. We never run out of humans, we can issue such trade bans only for animals and impress with a press conference to show who we protect our game.

In one local language they say that "An elephant is never unable to carry its own tusks" when referring to responsibility. This African Human and People's Right court was so successful because it refused to be eaten by the crocodile... so successful that for example in Kenya Human Rights Defenders (HRDs ) are worshipped. It begins with respect. When they speak people listen and say... "We are human... and they have spoken for us!" Makofi! Claps like thunder before equatorial rain fall in the forests go so loud that the President is always smiling. They are so welcome, they help the people. Whoever would dream of threatening or disappearing them in this world will be punished as soon as the trial begins. HRDs are loved. When people hear Human Rights Defenders they see just how noble their unpaid work is. 

In Africa nobody is scared of the West. Which West? Well for sure they know that some countries like Britain are deeply sorry to see the son of Kenyatta not getting all the salutes he should get in all courts national and international. To try a sitting president? It is unheard of. That is why he was promising to cooperate fully with the ICC and to bring laptops to all children. And he did bring the laptops.

And now the only missing thing and he is fixing it is to rule by Skype and without fear. Africans have really told the world off. The UN would not listen to them because they are not in the Security Council. African Union stood firm and told them off again and again. The UN. The UN is going to cry not crocodile tears but real ones. Who told them to send that European
Kofi Annan
gentleman called Kofi Annan with a team of Eminent African personalities such as: Benjamin Mkapa, Graca Machel, Kofour and to Kenya to help?

The UN, it will cry real ones because sooner than later they will learn Who is Who in the World of real Africans who never loot their countries, kill or maim anybody. It is just those funny animals, those wise hares and gazelles who wanted to witness how other animals work have been too hungry to survive as witnesses of how it is to chew other humans. They are Human Rights Defenders. There is too much victimisation in the this world. 

There are no rich people in Africa. All the presidents and their families are very poor they are always dressed in rags as they have to share every morsel of food with so many poor people who do not have hands to work with because they donate their hands at election time for the votes. Oh, no I forgot, they donate their BLOOD too in every voting season. It is kept in banks. Bodies are hidden in other places when and if they are too weak after donating blood. Then the people pray. 

 Ahh, my goodness! African people are so generous. They do not like to see their people suffering ever since they realised that they sold their brothers and sisters to masters for slavery long time ago. Today they die for one another. They would rather take bullets and be cut with a machete in defence of the others. So they offer themselves in different ways for sacrifice. They learned from others to do this in silence. For their presidents and politicians especially. People can give anything for them. They love them and they sing them songs of praise. And these people never make mistakes because all authority comes from God. So the people give more than you ever thought in Africa.

They donate their fingers and even legs. Sometimes they donate their whole lives like it happened in Kenya in 2007 on 27th of December. The people started by donating their small little finger tainted with purple ink to show that they can vote early in the morning. Then they went home and donated everything else to the land. They donated many women to be raped. They donated children to be killed because they spoke funny tribal languages. They gave up their homes and shops. They offered themselves to be burnt alive and without any questions they just let it happen to them. 

At that time no politician feared anything because they own land. Power is theirs. They knew what is done in any corner of Kenya to get anything. Poor Africans they are so tribal now we have to rescue them from an animal called the ICC which has become like all the Big Five put together. No, like a python that is swallowing people whole. It is even so bad this animal that it is making those who witness it doing its work shiver. It wants to be seen and heard. But the African people who died in 2007/2008 are now gone and their bones are almost dry so why does this animal called ICC, all the big five put together want to eat them again? Heehee?

In the beginning it was about power. Tribe became useful for numbers and for showing anger and killing to hit back. Things went wrong. If you could not answer my question in my language. Well, you were sent to another world. Killed. And you know as you have heard it said 600 000 or so displaced Kenyans in such a beautiful country, a paradise is nothing. They were just sunbathing for five years and enjoying camping. They got lovely tans. Grandmothers could hear their children's love in the same tents on the grass. Heh! That was just pure fun. Camping sites galore. Britain and some American voices as well as those who want to pull massively out of the ICC wish to camp at ours. We shall get money from tourism... You see we even have the best place to view the eclipse of the moon. We are the owners of the original garden of paradise. It is in Kenya and the other part in Ethiopia and.... a bit in South Africa.  We can never go wrong! We can Zuuum together!


  1. Great! We are so intellectually and morally malnourished, we Afrikans! Thank you Philo!

  2. Welcome! Will be reading yours soon. Yes indeed intellectual malnutrition!

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